y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
