Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
