oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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