the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
