My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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