she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
