He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
