we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
