Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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