id be glad to
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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