Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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