Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
