"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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