What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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