we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
