Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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