I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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