I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
