Yo dont text me then not text me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
