So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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