what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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