I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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