Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Im part way to drunk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
