Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
