This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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