some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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