There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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