I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize