My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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