I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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