nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
