What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
