You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize