i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
