I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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