Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
