I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
