its not stalking. its research.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
