I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
