You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize