They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
