Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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