I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Randomize
