she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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