Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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