You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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