the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
