My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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