Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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