rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
