We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
