He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
