Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
