i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
