Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
