Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize