her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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